A Leisurely Time
I have been able to spend ALOT of time reading lately. Members of our book club are always surprised and wish they had time to read at all. I want everyone to know that I am not completely ignoring my husband. Right now the job I have is very easy-going and not busy at all. It is a great job but I have a good amount of down time and there are some moments that I have nothing else to do. And even if it sounds nice, I don’t like it at all. The other interesting part of job is that I have a two hour lunch break everyday. “WOW” you say but really its not. It makes my day 10 hours long and by 5 everyday I am done and ready to get out. So I have come up with several different ways to spend my extra 120 minutes everyday. I try exercising but due to weather the last 5 months didn’t allow this activity. I really like to shop on my break! But Ry doesn’t and I had to break this habit my first month of working here. Going home is not usually that nice b/c it is so far away I don’t get to stay long and gas prices are through the roof right now so unnecessary travel is not smart. Sticking around is an option but if I do that I am pulling my hair out by 4:00 and the walls seem to get closer and closer to my desk. hmmm… I also tried walking Dr. Mofid’s dog, working out in the office, bringing projects to work on, going to the library, driving around, and going to lunch with friends. The last is my favorite thing to do but I don’t have that many friends or that much money to eat out all the time. Our office is in a prime location sitting right across from one of two big hospitals in the Treasure Valley. We also have a nursing home right next door and several patients that work there. So I thought that I could do something better with my time and volunteer. I started back in January at St. Alphonsus and have really enjoyed it. I go Mondays and Fridays. Fridays are great b/c I love the people and Mondays are not very great because they are not as easy to work with; frankly, they are some mean old ladies. It was challenging learning and being trained by these fascinating old women. They have been doing this for like 10-20 years but guess what?!? The still do it wrong but they don’t believe you when you tell them! No, the problem is that the hospital is always growing and changing and it gets extremely confusing. But I have enjoyed being in that environment and learning all there is to know. It is an amazing place and it blows my mind.
So that takes care of two days of the week and I am left with two and nothing to do (Thursday we close at noon so I go home!) What have I been doing?! READING and recently, just to get out of the office, I have been going to Hastings for a place to relax lay back and read. The one close to work has a big area with tables, couches, and comfy chairs purely dedicated to people relaxing, eating, reading, and chatting. I have yet to go there when there hasn’t been at least two groups of people having a meeting, eating lunch, studying, or just reading. Ry and I like to do this quite often. He prefers magazines and I prefer books so we just hang out with each other reading. But today I was able to just hang out at the book store sunkin into a bright orange, vinyl chair that was surprisingly comfortable and read the pick of this month, The Wedding. Lately I have felt like we live in Washington or Oregon; the green parts b/c we have been getting all the rainy gloomy days but without the green. Today was especially dark and it started to rain while I was inside sipping on some hot cocoa. It was just a cocoa day ya know. Anyway, I know this is a long winded, pointless post but I just know that soon I will not have so much time to read and relax. I will miss my two hour lunch breaks and overhearing conversations at the bookstore and I know this summer I will miss rain and moisture b/c it will be gone forever almost.
Butterflies in my Tummy
I am so relieved and nervous to finally have a meeting scheduled with the woman that holds my fate in her hands tomorrow. Just to fill you in; I have a very good chance at graduating in May ‘09 but that is only if the people in charge are nice enough to accept the credits I deserve. I know I have this horrible attitude of entitlement about this; I should be willing to follow their college’s course study and guidelines but if I did it without any leeway I would not be able to graduate until 2010 at least from BSU. We would move yet again and I would transfer yet again and blah blah. But I just want to finally accomplish this. I want to be awarded for the good work I have put in and I just hope they will trust that I will put in a great deal of hard work the one year I am there. I am just glad to be having a meeting and hoping that I will get some idea of how things could work out. You never know though. They could say yes yes to everything I want and then the classes could fill up and you are just out of luck. Anyway, just have me in your prayers please. My heart stops a little everytime I think of all the things that could go wrong. But I know this is a righteous desire and that I need to have faith that it will work out oh and I must not forget about patience. I feel like I have been patient up to this point.
Enjoying the Moments
Many times after patients find out I am married they ask if I have any children. I let them know that we have only been married for about 15 months and that we would like to wait for another year or so. They always say, “oh what a good idea; enjoy the time you have now!” Ry and I do have lots of time to enjoy each other right now. So many of our friends who go to school and work never see each other and their lives are insanely busy. Right now it is such a blessing to not be in that situation. We work similar hours and have nights and weekends together. I guess we could make more money (like if he sold security systems or something) but life is not just about that. You have to enjoy it as well and we are getting to know each other at this time in our lives. Of course we do get bored sometimes but thats a normal part of life as well. I know when I get back to the Idaho Shakespeare Festvial this summer everyone will be like what have you been up too?! Not much I will reply and that is the honest truth. Here is what we did this winter! And it was so much fun and so worth it!!
Not the most attractive look for me I know but we were having fun! I could never figure out how to look cute snowboarding. Some girls do. Whatever!
Props to Ry for taking this great action shot. Right after he took this I feel really hard on my bum! I can’t do stuff if I think it is being recorded in some way. But at least you can see that I can actually stand up.
I know Ry looks like he actually gained weight since we were married…its an illusion.
So what have we been doing?! PLAYING! Thats pretty much it and I am grateful for this time and memories we have to do this. Our life will get harder of course! It always does and I am starting school again. It will be somewhat hard going to school and working on homework when he has to do NOTHING. But it will happen to him too when it’s time for grad school. When that happens I will need these memories just to make it through!
Looking for Something New
I have started enjoying reading so much that I can’t get enough. I also can’t find anything to keep my interest. I have been looking around at new bestsellers mostly and I discovered a big problem with that. I read reviews that talk about how wonderful and character driven these novels are but they leave out the part about how the stories contain explicit, inappropriate and disturbing scenes. I wish books had ratings just like movies. Then you know ahead of time. Its easy to skip over something you know is coming but still. Anyway, I know there are a million books I can read and want to but right now I haven’t found anything I am super interested in. (And I am almost done with Twilight for the 2nd time) I have found another young adult series I am interested in but I doubt that will help me grow intellectually. Oh, but if you know of a website that warns you about the content of books let me know!
David Mamet-Why I am no longer a ‘brain-dead liberal’
Here are some of my favorite quotes from this essay!
http://www.villagevoice.com/news/0811,374064,374064,1.html/full
“This is, to me, the synthesis of this worldview with which I now found myself disenchanted: that everything is always wrong.
But in my life, a brief review revealed, everything was not always wrong, and neither was nor is always wrong in the community in which I live, or in my country. Further, it was not always wrong in previous communities in which I lived, and among the various and mobile classes of which I was at various times a part.
Redemption for the Drama Kids
I know that my writing in this post will see so inadequate for what I was to say and lacking in eloquence but I feel so strongly about this particular subject right now I can barely hold back the tears. Some of you may know that I studied theatre in college. This has been my passion for a large part of my life. Growing up in a small town, I found little that I was very interested in. My options were limited; sports, sports, or sports? But I didn’t like that then and wasn’t good at it. My siblings, who are much older than me, were stars in their high school and roadshow productions and once in a while they needed a crybaby-seriously this was my first role ever. Not to mention that I like being the center of attention and there is no better place to do that than on stage in a play or musical. Mena, my hometown little town, had a community theatre and it became how my parents and I spent time together. Mom backstage doing the grunt work and dad and I being dramatic imitators of people. (Mom did star once on stage as a dead person!) Anyway, going to a math and science school didn’t make me like anything more practical and with the encouragement of my dad, I studied drama in college.
My favorite classes were the ones where you read and analyzed plays. Oh wait, that was all of my classes! No kidding even and especially in design classes, you must read and analyze every character and aspect of the play. I love this. I enjoy doing this with literature and film also; dissecting the information and coming to conclusions that can be all of your own based on supporting evidence of course. Anyway, I am getting to a point. The problem with my passion is mostly where it lies according to my faith and standards. Often times I had to read controversial, unpleasant scripts and watch rated R plays. I am not making excuses for my decisions. The problem is I enjoyed it too much. I know, I know I should shudder at anything that takes the spirit away. My testimony has gotten stronger about this. The other thing is that I felt I could never relate to “true” theatre lovers and prominent individuals b/c I shared different values. Not that it matters but you want to fit in.
Today, Ryan emailed me a link to an incredible political essay written by a VERY prominent and successful playwright. David Mamet is mentioned in every contemporary theatre class in college. He writes about humanity but not necessarily the happy parts and that is why the spirit doesn’t dwell there. He is about hard truth. I auditioned a couple of times in college for productions. I used a great monologue from Oleanna, a play that Mamet wrote about college professors; how they use their students, and their students use them. I actually did well and got a part in a play…a giant that only was backstage…yeah, suitable at the time.
I know what you think about ‘theatre people’ though; the weird, liberal ones that smoke ALOT (this part is true). Come on they were the strange outcast ones in high school. Not to mention that in the media and real world it is they along with influential film celebrities that are poster children for anything and everything liberal. But Mamet has spoken out against that with an essay that I think is just incredible. I appreciate it so much for this reason. Such an influential person speaking out in a society totally against it and it is actually things that I believe in too. I really appreciate it. Ry sent this to me at work in an email. I loved it.
A Decision to Make
I am suffering through making a hard decision. The summer is coming soon and I have the opportunity to work at the Shakespeare Festival again as a stitcher. I did enjoy it last summer but I was new-new to working, new to Idaho, and still somewhat new to marriage-at least the kind where you actually see your husband. I learned so much and really excelled in technical skills. It was close to my house and it was only two months. By the time you were really tired of it, it was over. There were some negative aspects though. I don’t like going to work at 9 and off at 6. (The job I have now though is 8-6) And it was physically difficult. Sitting hunched over a sewing machine is grueling work and you start to hurt after a while. And it does get somewhat redundant, but then you finish your project and get a new one and it is satisfying to see the work you can do. My job now is somewhat redundant too but you are always meeting and getting to know new people. And the hardest part about my job in the summer is getting along with people I work with. I really like everyone we are just very very different and sometimes I just don’t want to be included in certain conversations and that is what head phones are for. They all know my religion and standards and it is nice to share it with them. I know what I am getting into this time and I think that will help a lot. I love my boss and everyone is very interesting. Anyway, the hardest part is letting Dr. Mofid down. He thinks I will be here a long time and I won’t be here for 9 months. Its pathetic and hard and I dread it all the time. He is such a great person and I hope we can stay friends. So, if you have any advice or thoughts on this I would appreciate it. I am going to do my part to make the transition as easy as possible and I want him to find someone good. Should I really care so much!? It is just a job and yet I feel like I am being disloyal. I have told so many people in the last few years that I am leaving and I hate it every time. Its hard when there is commitment there. Ease my troubled thoughts please! But I am feeling better already and am understanding that I think it is okay and I mean costume is my passion and what I have studied-its great to use that. Oh by the way, as far as I know the money is no different-accept that ISF is a salary job based on the same hourly wage as my job now. Ry wants me to bargain but money is NOT the MOST important thing to me. Oh and I will be quitting in August anyway to start school-but at least that would be a year.
P.S. I met with my adviser at school. The news was not great but not horrible-nothing to get excited about. I realized before going that there is a glitch in my plan and scheduling that might cause my graduation date to be pushed back almost an entire year-yeah that would be May 2010. This outcome would be devastating and quite frankly I am pretty sure I would not be finishing here. Most likely we would go back to Utah but I am sick of all that. I just want to be done. I mean I have done my time and work just not at your school okay BSU! So, the verdict rests in the hands of the woman who is the head of the design department. Please pray for me that she will understand I will do all that I can for them in the next year. I will be their slave. I hate feeling like I am using these people. In school especially, my professors have done so much for me and I feel I give little back.
Disney Princess
I saw that my sis-in-law is Mulan and Pocahontas on her blog from the which Disney princess are you quiz. Okay, I guess I am not a princess. None of them really fit me. The first time I was Pocahontas b/c I was adventurous, then on a different quiz I was Ariel. Then other ones were half Bell and half Cinderella. Here is the description
You are part Belle. You are strong, deep, and you are not a slave to petty superficial things. You are independent and allow yourself to see inner beauty without sacrificing your values. You are almost too good of a person. (I definitely like petty superficial things unfortunately)
Okay I am seriously wasting to much time with this. Maybe I just don’t know myself enough. Oh well-I want to be Pocahontas.
You are part Cinderella. You are hard-working and never complain, however, your trust is sometimes misplaced and people sometimes take advantage of you. Still, you are beautiful inside and out, and one day you will realize it and find true love. (never complain?– I wish)
Season Four is Finalized
We watched the final episode of Project Runway last night. All three designers presented beautiful collections. Personally I didn’t really appreciate Jillian’s collection. The first is my favorite one and really the only one I like at least right away. Some of the other pieces grow on me.
Her collection is very feminine and is very her. She may not know what her exact point of view in the world of fashion is but she knows what she personally likes to wear and all of her clothes were that. Her collection lacked congruency and there were a few pieces where I though “where did that come from!”
Rami did really come out of his shell. He presented new ideas and by far the most breathtaking was the weaving he put into some of his pieces. My favorite design out of all of them was this:
Neither of the previous designers were the winners of course. Christian, the “fiercely” annoying 21 year old was the only designer I could imagine winning through watching the entire season. He always had great designs. I rarely didn’t’ like them and truly expected him to win. The finale did bring some doubts. I really didn’t know who would win between Rami and Christian but then at the end I was like yeah that is what I totally expected. He made a fool of himself in my opinion when he presented his collection. Could you please act like the talent you have! He is by far too immature and even when he does become extremely famous in the fashion world he might lose it all eventually due to over ironing of his follicles. Here is his collection. He had perfect consistency and great fresh ideas. He is also the most dramatic and it looked like his collection just belonged on the runway.
Working Out is Good For You!
I want to testify of how great exercise really is. I started getting into again last week. Not extremely often but it was a good week back. I slept so much better and best of all, exercise motivates me to do so many other things. When I am busy I am just able to accomplish so much more and it helps me to clean the house and do all the things that are so easy to put off. Last night I had the perfect opportunity to work out but I was feeling a little sick and so made that my excuse to not go. BIG mistake. I feel the effects today. I am not the most pleasant person and I am striving really hard to control my anger over a few things. (I wrote a very long post that I would not dare actually post b/c you would all see the true side of me-or one of the true sides of me) Anyway, yesterday I did do something I have been putting off for a while now. I started getting ready for school again! I was so pumped when I went home last night. See, transferring is not fun and I have already gone through this once but this time it is even harder. I have like 10 classes to appeal and I am just trying to figure out how fast I can get done and when I can do it. But I got alot of information I needed yesterday and I feel like I have a good idea on where I stand. As long as I can get the credits accepted that I need to appeal, I will be able to finish in two semesters (15 credits each). I am soooo ready to go back to school. I just want to feel like that again for just a little while before I have kiddos. And take institute classes and be busy (I know I will regret this later) and learn something again. Anyway, I am excited to accomplish this goal in my life.
